Simple Steps on How to Flirt

Flirting 

Tell us you’re not still going with “I lost my number, can I have yours?” For starters, no one loses a number in the age of smart phones. Second, seriously? You need a second reason? Time to recalibrate your approach, Mr. Cool. It’ll pay off, we swear.

Step #1 CHECK YOUR EGO 

Understand that flirting is really not about you. “Flirting is about making the other person feel
good,” write Michelle Lia Lewis and Andrew Bryant in their book “Flirting 101: How to Charm Your Way to Love, Friendship and Success” (St. Martin’s Griffin). “The end result is an ability to attract and hold other people’s interest.”

Step #2 ADJUST YOUR ATTITUDE

“Being good-looking or clever with words is worthless if your attitude sucks,” write Lewis and Bryant, who define five states of mind that ensure great flirting:
Playful: Light-hearted, frisky, teasing Fun: Witty, entertaining Aware: Takes notice of the other person, shows interest Curious: Loves people, gregarious, social Brave: Goes for it, takes risks, optimistic, opportunistic

Step #3 START TALKING 

Check your posture — shoulders back, chin up. Make eye contact. Talk. Start with open-ended questions: “What do you think about...” Move into bolder territory: “If you could get on a plane right now, where would you go?” “Ever lied to pick up someone?” “Any tattoos or secret piercings?” Say nothing while the person is talking, and pause before responding, so the person knows he or she is being heard. “Once you are deep in conversation,” say the “Flirting 101” folks, “make eye contact regularly and hold their gaze for just a few seconds longer than usual. This has a real impact.” But beware: “Any longer than a few extra seconds and you’ll risk weirding them out.”

Step #4 FLATTER 

Your flirting partner will probably lob a question or two your way. Before you dive in with an answer, lay on some charm. “Wow, great question. What made you ask me that?” Then pay a genuine compliment. But be specific — none of that “You’re really sweet” or “You’re the best” nonsense. Think clothes (“That top is great on you”); gestures (“It’s so cute the way you play with your hair”); qualities (“You’re a great conversationalist”).

Step #5 SEAL THE DEAL 

If you’re being well received so far, get a little physical: Lightly touch an arm. Take a step closer. Lean. At this rate, you may just get that number after all. Degree of difficulty: You must be OK with rejection as a possible outcome

Do not 

• Flirt in front of people you or they know
• Stay close by if they’re not interested
• Drink a lot before flirting